Music

So, recently I have been thinking about song lyrics. I have a few short lines that stick with me throughout the day.

"When you're lost and alone, or you're sinking like a stone, carry on." -Carry On, by Fun.
Fun. is one of my absolute favorite bands. I love this line because it really sums up what life is about: going forward, not letting anything stand in your way.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." -Kelly Clarkson
I know this line is cliché, but I really believe that it is true. Any challenges you face in your life make you a stronger and more resilient person.

"There will be an answer. Let it be."-the Beatles,
I love this line because honestly some things are out of your control, and sometimes, no matter how difficult, you just have to let life run it's course.

"I guess it's all allright."- Fun.
This short simple line keeps me going throughout the day. Whenever things are tough, I just think it's all allright and play this line in my head.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad, take a sad song, and make it better"-the Beatles
I absolutely love this song. I love the message of taking a bad situation, and making it, well, better.

"Don't let anyone tell you you aren't beautiful" -Eminem
I feel like this line isn't about just looks and outer beauty; it's about not letting anyone or anything stand in your way.

Music is what keeps me going through the day. It raises my spirits and pushes me forward. I can't believe the impact a few simple song lyrics have made on me.

My Blog is Back

So, things been rough, so I haven't posted in a while, but I feel like it's time to get some stuff off my chest. Since I last wrote--wow, it's been since September-- life at my house hasn't really been the easiest. When I left off, my mom had just come home from the hospital with her broken leg. Since then, she is walking better and doesn't have to use her walker as much. She has been getting chemo every week since school started. This is tough because she's really tired afterward, but it's at least  better than the radiation, which was everyday.  She isn't losing  her hair, which I guess is better, since she doesn't look sick with her hair. We were managing pretty well, up until just after Christmas when she became pretty sick with what we thought was the flu, she had a high fever, but eventually it went down, but her cough persisted. She went in for chest x-rays and was hospitalized. After being in the hospital from thursday to tuesday, she is home now. She is doing better, but has to be on oxygen for at least the next few weeks. It was her birthday yesterday (Happy Birthday Mom!) and she was overwhelmed with support. Our house is packed full of balloons and flowers. We really appreciate all the support from our friends and family, we wouldn't have been able to get through this without them.
I have to say, dealing with this as a teenager is much different than dealing with this as a six year old. When you're six, you don't really understand what's going on, and all you know is how much you miss spending time with her. At 15, you can really understand what is going on, and have more stress and worry, and less confusion.  This week is midterm week at school and trying to deal with the pressure at school and the stress of home is really difficult. I try to block it out at school, and use that as a release from worrying about my mom, but it's really difficult. Sometimes I just feel so physically exhausted from cramming for tests, and emotionally exhausted from worrying, it feel like I could crumble. I try to put on a brave face and not let things get in my way, but sometimes it's really difficult. But, I just keep going.
Right now, I'm trying to focus on the positives. My mom is home, which is the greatest thing of all. I'll be 16 in April and can get my learner's permit. Ross is doing well and even has a little girlfriend (don't tell him I said that ) and is taking an interest in tennis. I am learning to take small blessing when they come, and not to let little obstacles get in my way. Honestly, life is too short and too important to waste stressing over little things. Smile at the little things- a new episode of modern family, a question correctly answered at mathletes (that kinda only applies to me), a favorite food, a cute thing my brothers do. I feel like this applies to everyone, no matter what the situation, anyone can take a moment to just enjoy the small blessing in life.
I know this was a really long post, so if you've made it to this point, thanks for sticking with me through this post. Thank you to all my friends and family for helping us through these tough times. I love you all!

just keep swimming!

Whenever things get tough, I just think of what I learned from Finding Nemo: Just keep swimming. My mom came home Thursday, but she is so exhausted. We only see her for about 20 minutes a day, at most. This is really difficult because we were seeing her more and more, and now we don't really see her at all. But, we've been through worse, we can handle this. We have to just keep swimming!

Never a Dull Moment

Back to school has been crazy! If keeping up with all of our crazy schedules isn't enough, my mom broke her leg and just left today for the hospital in New York. So she will either have to be on bedrest for 6 weeks or she will have to get a rod put into her knee. Hopefully she can get the rod in, that way she will be able to walk in a few days. But we won't know until tomorrow, so all we can do is wait and see.

Happy Birthday!

Today is Ross's 9th birthday, so wer'e all pretty excited about that. We are having a small family barbecue, so hopefully my mom will be able to be there for the whole party. Since this is the end of the second treatments, she isn't able to so much. She has been sick to the stomach and sleeping all the time, which made getting ready for Ross's birthday a little more difficult. But, she'll be done on Thursday so we are alled thrilled about that. Also, we are pushing the first family fun day back to October so keep posted for that!

Electrons

So my mom found out hat she has to go back for more treatment, this time for electrons. But, this time the daily treatment only takes about 30 seconds and their aren't bad side effects like last time. The only annoying part is that she has to have someone to drive her every day to UPenn and back, which is about an hour from our house. They say she has to get more electrons, which isn't as bad as the other radiation. today it wasn't so bad because a friend's mom drove us down and both of our families went to the Franklin Institute. Life is almost back to normal, and as soon as this last treatment is over she will be done!

I'm back

Hey everybody-
I'm back from my two weeks in Providence. It was amazing, and the best part was that I could truly have fun for the first time in months. In the beginning, I was nervous about leaving home. My mom had recently been in the hospital again for more fluids. She was having stomach problems so she wasn't sure if she'd be able to come with me for the first day at Brown. But, it all worked out, because even though she wasn't feeling 100%, she was able to drive up with me.  After she left, I was a little scared that she would go back into the hospital and I wouldn't be there. But, after  a few days she was much better and didn't even feel sick anymore. It was so nice to be stress free finally!